Healthy Family Rules

Healthy Family Rules – session 3

To survive in a family you have to follow the rules. But, you must also let people know when you are upset by those rules, and suggest what might help you feel less upset. Communicating with your family may not always be easy. Here are some examples of rules for healthy family communication.

1. Ask for help.
2. Talk about your hopes and dreams.
3. Express anger at your parents.
4. Seek acknowledgement or recognition for work.
5. Ask for emotional support.
6. Show that you have been hurt.
7. Show your emotional pain.
8. Talk about your sexual needs or feelings.
9. Notice or comment on mistakes or problems.
10. Voice disagreement or bring conflicts into the open.
11. Directly express your anger at other family members.
12. Express fears and anxieties.
13. Show affection.
14. Ask for attention.
    
    If it is okay to do any or all of these, you and your family will have a greater degree of success in communicating.

Basics of Communication

The Basics of Communication – Session 1

Communicating with your family may not always be easy. Today we will start by discussing the basics of communication. By the end of our communication series, you will have had many opportunities to get to know yourself and your peers better. We hope that you’ll know your family and your community better too. Practicing these skills should help you become more capable of handling some of life’s tough problems and decisions.

Every time you communicate, there must be a sender, a receiver, and a message.

SENDER →→→ MESSAGE →→→ RECEIVER

Is it possible to communicate by reading the information on this page?

Who is the sender? ___________________________________
Who is the receiver? __________________________________
What is the message? _________________________________
___________________________________________________

Is it possible to send a message without using words? _______

If there are no words, what is the message? _________________________________________________

How is the message sent? _______________________________________

USE THE FOLLOWING AS A GUIDE FOR SENDING GOOD MESSAGES.

Good messages should be:
· Direct
· Clear
· Truthful
· Supportive

Good Messages Express:
· What you see
· What you are thinking
· What you are feeling
· What you want to have happen

Practicing Messages
When we are angry, hurt or up-tight, we sometimes say things we don’t really mean or wish we hadn’t said. Look at the following situations. What else could you say in each situation? Think about what it takes to send a good message.

Situation 1

Your boss tells you that you have to work overtime. You had planned to got to your child’s choral concert at school. Now it looks like you will be lucky if you get there in time for the reception. Your boss asks you how you felt bout being asked to work overtime.

You say, “Look, I’m here, aren’t I.”

What else could you say? __________________________________________________



Situation 2

You have company coming in 10 minutes. You’re feeling anxious because you want everything to be just right. You sister or spouse is trying to help by sweeping the floor but she is taking forever.

You snatch the broom out of her hands and say, “Move out of the way. Let me do that.”

What else could you say? _________________________________________________



Situation 3

You have been waiting for your boy/girlfriend/spouse for 30 minutes. Now you are late for the movie. You’ll either miss seeing the first part of the movie or not be able to get a ticket at all.

You say impatiently, “You’re never on time.”

What else could you say? _____________________________